She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
