I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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