I want to have your abortion
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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