I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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