I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
