Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
