I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
