girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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