i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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