So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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