Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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