Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
