Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
