hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
