i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
