Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
