There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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