I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
