you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I intend to get homeless drunk
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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