Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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