Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
