He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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