So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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