I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Drunk walkin through police station. America
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
