Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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