You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
