bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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