Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
