hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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