god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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