you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Mom said you looked used
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
