you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
