I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize