ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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