but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My cat gives me a boner
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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