waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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