just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is the high leading the old right now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
