so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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