CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i think my cat just said my name.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
