I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
