rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We left the knife in your bed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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