I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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