she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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