I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the condom got lost in my hair
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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