you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
