bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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