It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
