Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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