You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
