remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
