just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love having hate sex.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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