she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
