She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
