if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let's paint friendship bongs
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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