im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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