I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize