Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
