I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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