what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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