I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
