he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
