can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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