You're so nebulous sometimes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
