The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
