fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
