Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
