We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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